HEYYYY SPIDERS DOT NEOCITIES DOT ORG BLOG. IT'S BEEN A FUCKING WHILE

I haven't written here in ages, but I've been alright. I tried to join artfight and I did do some attacks, but studying took over my brain and i just.. stopped attacking.

All year I've been thinking about this thing that happened around may, in the Experimental Arts class. A piece of contemporary art was brought up that you can probably recognize: a banana taped to a wall. You could grab it and eat it, it could rot there for a bit, whatever, it was the real fruit taped to a wall. store-bought. The student that brought it up was so furious about it and the discussion he generated around the subject lasted around thirty minutes, which gave me the time to do one of the pieces featured in the art page (clown with their head inside a tiger's mouth. it's unrelated to my sentiment on this, i just wanted to draw that at the time).

He was absolutely Livid, man. He, like many have before, questioned the artistry that went into glueing a banana to a wall, and the integrity attached to calling yourself an artist if all you do is bring trash into a museum. The thing is, if you know a single thing about contemporary art and useless dichotomies, you know the "is this art" discussion is something you can't and won't win here, specially because in this debate it's easy to forget your opinion is subjective, not objective to the whole of the subject.

Contemporary art is fueled by your rage about it. This is very subjective, but my favorite characterization of art as a whole is that it's meant to evoke a feeling, a reaction. Some want to amaze, some want to disturb, the contemporary artist wants to anger. The banana glued to the wall isn't doing shit, but it IS making you question the modern money chase, the loss of artistic integrity, the limits of what is or not art and what does it mean to delimit something by man-made standards... which is tricky, but I promise you it's much harder to pretend that there's nothing going on.

Here's a bunch of the points covered during that class, and the rebuttals that followed.

"This isn't art" What is?

"Art is defined by an institution with the power to claim it as such" The banana was claimed as such, it has been validated as art.

"Art is something you put effort in" I can doodle a cat in seconds, with no effort. Still art.

"Art is manmade" It's a composition, it has parts a person has been involved in the making of- in a way, it is manmade. And would you say these paintings by dogs or elephants aren't art?

"Art is only certain forms of it, like paintings and sculptures" That doesn't make much sense, does it? This one qualifies as a sculpture!

"What IS a sculpture?" we're not going there because I won't shut up. google

"Art has to have meaning"

"Art has to speak out about something"

"Art has to evoke something"

"Art has to risk something "

Anger! Artistic integrity! Money chase! It makes you question the art institutions, the meaning of artistry, even the validity of the person behind this. And it goes on and beyond because this is a bottomless pit of a subject.

"What if the author didn't mean for any of that?" The author has a say on the meaning, but you have to do your part. Critical thinking yknow

All of this to say, I despise that fucking banana so much and Whoever The FUCK has 120.000 DOLLARS to SPARE To Buy A Fucking Banana has to . JSWJdEJEKfEKIEIEiEeKDKDKSKaaSKSKtAKDMeRrCNNSrNXiNCNDNXbNClNCNeNFNFKFdKFORORdOEOOeEPWOWaPWPWPWOdWOWWQQQQQRTttAWWWhWWWWWWWhÑÑÑf i am normal now

point is that i hate everything ever but Is The Banana Art? the answer is a pretty resounding It Might. from an objective standpoint, the word "no" doesn't exist anymore. ((one could argue the perceived definition of art, the one that dictates it should be based on effort and time (even magnitude) finds its most avid fan in meritocracy and should be thought about twice before bringing it up- is it "true art" or is it just the form of it that carries out the ideals of the modern capitalist man, hence why you feel attracted to it? ("capitalist" used in the identity sense, where the pre-capitalist notion of personhood is fundamentally its relation to others, while the one that came after is individualist and meritocratic)- and you might be tempted to call out the paradox of contemporary art, but that's a whole topic, isn't it?))

overall i am having a nice time at college. can you tell.

See ya!

i've made so many fucking stickers!!!!!! and i KEEP RUNNING OUT. IT'S NEVER ENOUGH. if i print 10, 15 disappear the next day.

I've been selling them at college and they disappear so so fucking fast. Is it profitable? sometimes. Do you at least cover the production fees? Sure. Am i having fun? You cannot begin to IMAGINE it.

It's like selling little prints!!! Remember the bug girl from the artworks page (and the entries below)? She's on a sticker. Someone already bought her. She's going around!!!

I've been drifting away from the website because I am on The Final Weeks before this half of the year ends, and it's full to the brim with exams and essays. I don't really want it to end though, I don't like not having stuff to do. i should find a New Marketable Object to make during the break. maybe enter some anime conventions and set a little table at the corner............ even though whatever the fuck I make is ABSOLUTELY not anime...............

P.S. like before, if you see any images on the site that could be cool as a sticker, tell me!!! the chatbox is right there. I can't really upload a picture of the ones I have as stickers so far, because the file size would be nightmarish. here's a doodle btw

hiiiii spiders dot neocities!

Last year I made an truly stupid amount of stickers to sell, and I still have about four of each of the 30ish separate sticker designs laying around. It's awesome. I love stickers. not being sarcastic btw i LOVE stickers!!! I just need to sell them because I want to make new ones so bad... though the new ones would absolutely not sell well if it's not in an art oriented market or something: it's weird art! my favorite genre of creation.

If you think an image I have on the site would be cool as a sticker, suggest it in the CHATBOX!! (under NAVIGATION) I will keep it in mind! I'd really like some help with that..

BTWWWW i've killed all the stats in neocities with a firefox add-on. How many views, how many followers, how much space is left, I Do Not Care, And I Now Don't See It At All. I do care about when was it last updated, but I don't see that either. All is good.

I don't have much else to say... life is going forward! I am optimistic about it, even if the fog blinds. See ya!!!

It's been SO LONG since the last blog post, so I figured I'd make one now.

College is difficult. My career doesn't give me as much work as anything else would, but I hate that my executive is always dysfunctioning. you knowww.

One of my classes is drawing class! I've been making illustrations for that, and it's basically the only thing I've managed to get done. In fact, I wish i still had work left from that class. but i don't :c This drawing here was made for that:

The assignment was to make a transition from man to animal, and I made a little bug girl. I could've taken the monstrous, undesirable aspect of changing into something else (which was what the examples they showed were about), but I like to think about the undesirability of that which doesn't affect you and does not trouble the one affected. Queerness and nature, all that.

I've been calling this kid Bug Girl. but in lowercase. bug girl is like ten years old and does ballet! her ballet teacher is deeply troubled with her most recent looks, but bug girl is just fine. Here's more doodles of her:

It's very fun to draw her, because her design is tricky and gets me to put more effort in (it isn't quite what I use to draw). If we're going by arthropod classifications, I am SURE you know she's an insect. If not, revise the arthropods page of the site.

Anyways, that's about it. I have to study. See ya!!

hey thereeeeeee look at this guy below

I don't think I've mentioned this myriapod over here. This guy is called cienmichi ("centipede" in spanish is "ciempiés", "cien-pies", "cat" in rioplatense spanish is "michi". so, cien-michi.), and I've been drawing it everywhere for quite a bit. The original-ish design is on the Arthropods page, this one has my latest style of drawing eyes solely because it's a stencil and the usual style just wasn't feasible. I think it looks sick. Ignore the ribs of whoever's x-ray scan that is, my professor just gifted it to me to make this.

The original design also has.. guts instead of a centipede tail . which sounds edgy as fuck because the guy is pretty cutesy, but, to be honest, I just wanted to see if I could draw guts. It turns out I can. NONE of the iterations with the guts is on the site by the way, do not worry about coming across it, genuinely.

This guy is for my printmaking class. I chose printmaking as my specialty in college, so we're going through the techniques. We´ve done woodcut and stencils so far! Both have very fun limitations to work with; my friends say it's all boring stuff and that the painting specialty is better, but I like working with my hands, and we're going to go to the streets with spray paint to use with the stencils we’ve made :) it's all managed by the professors, so it's not illegal or anything, before anyone asks.

I think painting is kind of overrated, honestly. Not that it's BAD, because it isn't and I enjoy it, but printmaking is way cooler. You get to make drawings on wood with sharp objects (woodcut), you get to cut cool x-rays and paint on walls (stencils), you get to make shirt designs (screen printing) and paint disasters (monotype) and you can use the fucking sun in some printing forms (this one I don't know the name of. google it!!). The limitations it offers makes you think about what you're going to make and how it can work, and the amount of options won't let you grow bored of it all. Man I fucking love this shit. It needs its own site page, but I do have stuff to do, so maybe later on.

See ya!

It's 3AM right now.

"Nico from the spiders dot neocities dot org website, what are you doing at 3am?", you might ask, because you absolutely remember my name, and to that I say: I do not know.

My computer is broken. It turns out it won't turn on at all, except for a strange range of twenty or so minutes where it WILL, and you HAVE to use it then or else you will be missing out on all your computer-bound responsibilities. And I don't mean 20 minutes of it working and then shutting down, I mean a window of 20 minutes to turn it on to use it for however time it'll let you use it, because it might turn off at random.

I don't get it, at all, but so far I've managed to speedrun wikipedia's 100 of the World's Worst Invasive Alien Species page (looking only at the arthropods; it's SUPER interesting, there's at least three of them inside my house right now, and they all want to bite me) and the Art History page (that one's my savior, because I have the Art History signature in college and I can NEVER make myself read the material they give us, but the Wikipedia page is Right There, and every single time I go "it won't hurt to just skim over it before this week's class", and then "this part is interesting, I want to compare it to other sources to confirm it", and then "I am curious about the society this developed in", and long story short this makes it SO fun).

It just so happened that all that looking around ended up being very time-consuming, and here I am, at 3AM on the 'puter.

I haven't made any blog posts since college started again, and that's (asides from the computer working fantastically) because there's both lots of stuff and absolutely nothing going on. I had three weeks of The Mental Illnesses overlap with college work, and it left me with no energy to actually do things, so I am waiting it out until I feel like making things again. At the very least, I managed to make the arthropods page in that period, which is great, even if it lacks crustacean related body horror. I hope I find some time to update it in the future, but it wouldn't be wise to make any promises.

It's 3:30AM now! See you later.

For the last twenty-ish days i've been STRUGGLING with my art style. i am good at drawing bodies, at least in a way that appeals to me, but i have Issues when it comes to faces. SPECIALLY eyes.

But i've found The SOLUTION. no longer will i struggle over this minimal obstacle! Here's the promised solution to your eye-drawing problems:

Hover over the black box, if you don't mind violence.

behead the fucking THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no more head to deal with! problem SOLVED. i won't be taking criticism.

heyyyyyy there.

i am waiting for college to start again. my mind hasn't really been anywhere else, so i've done Absolutely Nothing Else, apart from watching coding videos and reading Awful Hospital in bogleech.com. that thing has been going on for Eight Years and i thought "hey, eight years is an insane amount of time, it should be over now. pretty strange that the main page links to the latest update as if that's still going, hahahah". well guess the fuck what! it's still an ongoing webcomic, and now that i've finished reading after like a week i have to wait for the updates, like a fool.

it's a great read, very fun. this is still very much not my native language, so i have a terrible time trying to decipher the lore and am very grateful when a question that's been asked before in the comic gets answered again, and again, and once more for good measure. this is NOT SARCASM!! it really does help.

I've been meaning to make fanart for that comic, but the artblock really has me struggling over here. that, and the heatwave we're experiencing; strongest one since the 1960s, they say. it's difficult to gather the motivation to Do Things when you're melting.

There's also the coding videos i mentioned. Do you have some time to spare? google a HTML, CSS or JS course to watch for a bit. it turns out i shouldn't have accidentally removed the "!DOCTYPE html" tag from some pages, who knew! certainly not me, because i am winging it. i've got a friend that's studying programmation in college, and he's appalled that my learning method is just Fuck Around, Find Out Later On, but i think that's because he doesn't know HTML or CSS and thinks they're like the usual programmation languages, where you can't just do shit and expect it to work. that being said, i DETEST javascript. it's DIFFICULT. it's got MATH. i am SUFFERING and haven't touched the book i was reading to learn it in like A WEEK or TWO.

this is about all i've got going on (that's even remotely interesting i mean). i also opened art commissions in ko-fi (here's the link). i put a button for these at the artworks page too.

that's it! see you later!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@##@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#J!!^!&@@@@@@@@@@&B5?~^Y@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#PB&@@@@@@@@@&Y!75&@#!^P@@@@@&GY77JP&B~~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@?!5J!?B@@@@@@Y~Y&@@@@@@G^7#B57!JG&@@@@@J~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Y^&@@@BJ!?G#P~^?&@&#BGGGG!^^^~5#@@@@@@@@B^B&#G5YJ?!^G@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@G&@@@@@@@#^?@@@@@@@G~^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^~!7YP#@@&!~JY5G#&B~!&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@~^?G&@@@@7^&@@&G5J7~^^^^^~?5PP5Y?JJ7!^^^^^^^^^^^~7YG&@@@@@&!~&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@!7BY7?YGY^?&P!^^^^^~7YGB&@@@@@@@@@@@&&&&&#PJ!^^^^^^^!5&@@@!~&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@!?@@@&B!^^^^^^^~?P&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&G?~^^^^^^?BB~!&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@Y~@@@@#!^^^~?G&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#Y!^^^^^~!7~7G@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@#^5@B!^^^J&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&5!^^^^7&BJ7?5B&@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@?^7^^^^!@@@@@@@@&#GYJ??YG#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#?^^^J@@@#P?^7#@@@@@@@@

@@@@@#JJYJY5J!^^^^^~#@@@@@&57^^^^^~??~^~?&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&7^^P@@@@5~J&@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@Y~~GB#G~^^^^^7@@@@@Y^^^^~JB&@@@@#~^7@@@@@@@@@@@&GJ7??J5#@@@@@@@@@?^^G@@?~#@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@B~Y@@&~^^^^!&@@@@5^^^^5@@@@@&##@&~^7@@@@@@@@@Y^^^7YY?^^J&@@@@@@@#~^^PY^G@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@&!7BY^^^^^#@@@@@BYYJB@@@@5~^^^~Y7~^P@@@@@@&7^^^P@@@@@G~^J@@@@@@@!^^^^?@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@&!^^^^^^~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#^^^^^^^G@&@@@@@@&~^!Y#@@&Y?YB&7^?@@@@@@J~~^^7&@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@?77?JY!^^^^~@@@@@@@@&YG@@@@J^^^^~Y@@@@@@@@@B5P@@@@P^^^^^J&!^G@@@@@5^^^^~~J&@@@@@@@@@

@@@~^^?#@@@@#^^^^~&@@@@@@@@GP@@@@@&BG#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@7^^^^^~@#~!@@@@@B^^^^P@Y~?&@@@@@@@

@@@5~^^~?G&@@!^^^^J@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B!~~!5&@@5~G@@@@#^^^^7@@#~^P@@@@@@

@@@@@#J^^^^~!~^^^^^#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&B#@&@@@@@Y^^^^^~!~~75@@@@@@

@@@@@@@&5!^^^^^^^^^!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@?~~7JP@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&YY&@@@@@P^^^^^^~?G&@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@Y^^^!7^^^^?@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&#@@@@@@#GGB#@@@@&BPG@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!^^^^^5@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@G~^^J@@P^^^^!B@@@@@@@@@@@@&?~7YB&@@@@&&B5?~~!JB@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B^^^^^^5@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@5^^~G@@@@#!^^^^!5B&@@@@@@@@@@BJ~^~JGY?7!7JB&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&!^^^^^^~&@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@&~^^5@@&##B!~!7~^^^Y&@@@@@@@@@@@#&&&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@G~^^^~55^^!@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@B~^^^^~^^^^^^~&@BJ~^^~P&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#7^^^7B@@@J^^J@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@###P~~!?J7^^~&@@@@G~^^^~?YB&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&GY7~^^^^^7PPG#5^^^P@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#^^!&#BG57~^^^^^^^^~7J5B&@@@@@@@@@@&&###GY7~^^^^^^^^^^^^^!~~^^7@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Y^^^^^^^^^^^^^^~G#P5Y!^^^~~~!?7~~~^^^^^^^^~?5B&J^^^Y&&&&@@@@&&&@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@GYY5P7~^~?G&B~^^J@@@#?^~7~^^~Y5JJYJ~^^^^^^~P@@&~^^J@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@5~^^~7JG@B~^^!!^^~5@@&~^~#@@@BJ~^!!!~~^^5@J^^G@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#J~!?PP~^^~!J!!!!!!#@@@@@B^^!5J~^^^^5#7~!7~^~^^?@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B77G@@@&J^^^!5#B##&@@@@@@@@&!^^^^^^^^^5@@G~7BG!^^B@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@P!7&@@&Y!~^^^~55JJYYP@@@@@@&P5Y7~^^^^^^~?@@@&?~&@GP@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@5~^J@@@?~YB7^^^!PP55J5G@@#PB@@@P55!~!~^^^?!J@@@@G~5@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@B77~^#@&!!&@@?^^^7P5#&&&BJ?YG5J5P!~~~~~^^^~&&!Y@@@@&!~Y&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@&P75&&5^?P!^&@@@@#Y?~~^~??Y7Y@@@@@G~^^!!!!7!^~&@#~5@@@@@5^~Y&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@J^~B@@@B!^^!@@@@@@@P^^^^^7#@J!!!JB#7^~&@@@@@##@@@G~G@@@@@#7^~B@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@Y~YG5?7YB#G7^~Y@@@@5~^~~^?#YY?!7~BB7^^^5@@@@@@@@@@@B!P@@577?55~J&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@#7J&@@@@@#PY!~^^#@@&7^:^~~^!#P~~!Y~7@@G~^^#@@@@@@@@@@@?^!!!G@@@@?^!5#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@B?^J@@@@@@@@@@&7^^7@@#~^^^~?JY5PBYJPY77JP!^^J@@@@@@@@@@&~~^~&@@#5!?#@P!!P#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@&^^^~&@@@@@@@&&@B^^^J@@B^^^Y@@@@@@@@@@@@#!^^^^&@@@@@@@@@@P~~^7J7JG&@@@@@#Y~~P@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@J^^.~GG#BPJ~^~~7~^^^&@5^^^~#@@@@&PJY&@@G~~~^!@@@@@@@@@@@@&J^^^&@@@@@@@@@@@7^?@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@J77~^^^~7YB&&P~^^!G@@P^^^^B@@P7?5G?~G@&7~~^~G@@@@@@@@@@@@@B~^Y@@!~!5&@@@@@~^G@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@&&&@@@@@@@@&&@@@@G^^^^P@@!~@@@@5^G@@P~^^^P@@@@@@@@@@@@@@?^7J^^^^^:!J5J^^P@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&~^^^J@@7~@@@@@J^#@@&?^^^B@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Y^^~^^J?^~J?!7Y&@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Y^^^7@@G^G@@@@&~~&@@@G^^^Y@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#JJP&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&~^^~B@@5~#@@@@&~7@@@@G~^^!B@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#^^^Y@@@Y~G@@@@&!7&@@@B^^^7@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B~^7GGPJ^^P@@@@@7~B##P^^~P&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#~^^!~^^J@@@@@@@5!^^!GJ^^^^7PGPGG#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&Y!^^^7#!^^5@@@@@@@&~^~5@&G5J!^^^^^?@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Y^^^75G#@#~^^#@@@@@@@P^^^P@@@@@&&Y^^^P@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@7^^7#@@@@@&~^^P@@@@@@@@5^^~BBP5GBP7^^^G@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@5^^#@@@@@@G^^^P@@@@@@@@@P^^^^:.:~?YJJ#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Y^^7G#&&BJ^^^G@@@@@@@@@@@&BPPB#&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@&P7^^^^^^~7G@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#BGG#&@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

I am of the opinion that nightmares are cool as fuck. You get a glimpse of whatever's wrong with you, and it either leaves a mark (messes you up for a while) or it doesn't and remains as a strange alternate reality living in your subconscious. A week ago, as an example of the second scenario, I had a nightmare where i was lost in commercial streets trying to catch a bus that would get me home, while the sun tried to hunt me for sport (at the end, I wouldn't have the option to go home anymore, so the thing looped around.)

I don't think there was any reason for that happening. The whole point being made was most likely "this is a fight-or-flight scenario, and you're doomed to fleeing", but i am much more interested in the fucking WAY it was presented; you're telling me some skeletal twink with a sun-shaped head is supposed to be the death of me, and he can't even DO IT???????????? THAT IS A JOKE. he's most likely a butch. i've given this some thought, and that was the conclusion; this is the disturbing cringefail woman just-some-guy from my nightmares, character of the century (the stance on gender, here at the News Station, is any and all words mashed up together to form the least coherent sentence you've ever read. it makes life more interesting than the default).

Another thing that happened, besides this guy being around, was that my brain combined the knowledge of that optical illusion that lets you see stygian blue with a ten seconds clip of a video where the person filming tried to give a sense of the saturation of a color by lowering the video saturation and making it gradually higher so you could somewhat understand what he was seeing in real life. The result of this combination was the perceived illusion of a color that Doesn't Fucking Exist in the middle of the nightmare; some mix of over-saturated red and green overlapping without ever being brown or gray, floating over the background like that gren/violet speck in your vision when you look at a spot of light for too long.

It was a five hours long nightmare too. Other things that happened in that timeframe were me clipping through the floor after hitting what seemed to be a placeholder water texture, and me going to sleep in the middle of the dream, which woke me up in real life, where i decided to see it through by going to sleep again. which woke me up in the dream.

I rate the experience a 5 out of 9. it stressed me out, but i got some cool character design stuff out of it. Here's the guy, very similar to how they looked on the actual thing. I call them Sol.

CW: body horror. not a cutesy character, for sure. Hover on the image to see (or click, if you're on mobile) i didn't mean any ill by assigning them a fruity gender, before you get rightfully offended by the sole Looks of it. chill

I've got more drawings of the guy (so fucking many), but my site size is going to fucking explode one of these days, so we'll stick to just some of the drawings, compressed to hell and back. This guy down here was made in MSPaint and weighs 12kb. that is insane.

well, i'll be seeing you later. i should figure out some kind of blog-archive, it's getting quite crowded over here

I AM INCREDIBLY ARTBLOCKED. THIS IS HELL

I DREW *ONE* GOOD THING IN LIKE A MONTH. AND IT IS THAT GUY IN THE LEFT. WHICH IS OKAY BECAUSE IT LOOKS KINDA SICK (i haven't drawn a nose since 2019 and did not know i knew how to) BUT COME OOOON

i am gearing towards less idealistic, more naturalist and expressive art, i think. which is neat. thank you, jeff-the-killer-image incident of october 2022, for the weird as hell artstyle.

before i forget: we hit 10k views on the webbed site, which is awesome as fuck. here's the worst video ever, to celebrate:

and if you're still here, let's talk about artblocks. here's what i do when that happens, and might help you if you're going through it:

That's what's helped me through the years, at least. Right now, I'm taking the "draw anyways" approach (i am fuckingg DYING over here). of course, the experience differs for eveyone, so what works for me might be hellish for you. :p idk man i have 1 braincell ok

ANYWAYS. let's leave it there for today. i could go on forever, knowing how much i like to share stuff

PS: i miss the orange cake recipe of the first entry here... i want some so bad

NOTE: read the entry title! talking about TRANS BOOKS today. if you don't vibe with that, politely ignore me! no need for hate!

Read another little thing! (in reference to the Feb16 entry recommendations). This time it was a novella, Avi Cantor Has Six Months To Live, by Sacha Lamb. The description, straight from the site linked there (where you can read it for free) is:

["Avi Cantor Has Six Months To Live".] Avi comes across these foreboding words scrawled on the bathroom mirror, but what do they mean? Is this a curse, a prediction, or a threat from Avi’s emboldened bullies? And how to they know his real name when he hasn’t even told his mother yet?

Then there is Ian—the cool new guy at school, who is suddenly paying attention to Avi. Ian is just like Avi, but he is also all sunshine, optimism, and magic. All the things that Avi doesn’t know how to deal with…yet.

It's signed as "a romantic fairytale for trans boys". I think the way it handles its topics is very sweet, and I would've loved to read it when I was a preteen.

But I did not read it. What I DID read, though, was The Art Of Being Normal, by Lisa Williamson (about a transgirl and a transboy dealing with life; once again, read for free on the link), which I KNOWWWW has been criticized a lot for the author being cis and some dialogue being not-something-a-trans-person-would-say (though some of the arguments are a bit of a stretch for the settings of the characters), but I think the values I got from it are still there. 12yr old me's taste in books does not lie!

(Nico note: that's a lie; 12yr old me read the worst YA books ever and thought they were fine literature. 12 yr old me also read "The Black Tulip" by Alexandre Dumas (found online for free too, it seems) eight times too -which isn't bad, just baffling to think about when i know i remember nothing about it. for all i know, i might be advocating for a mediocre book, but you've got a brain and can handle that, so go find out by yourself!!)

Nothing else to say for now! As always, If you've got reccommendations, I will take them. Just toss them at the chatbox.

If you're wondering about TPOE, here's the site. You can use the blinkie without crediting me. I will make a proper page for the blinkies I've made later on.

In other news, DVD logo shrine ahead!

Facts from the internet about this Extremely Riveting Screensaver, are:

• PURPOSE: As a historical note, the bouncing logo wasn't just for fun, but was important to prevent screen burn-in on CRTs. If you had a static image on a CRT for a long time, it could damage the phosphor. Sometimes you could even see the image when the screen was off! This was the original purpose of screensavers, which saved your screen from damage. Displaying a dynamic image prevented one part of the screen from being overused. source
• CORNER-HITTING: The internet says there's a 2% chance per day of it hitting the corner. The illustrated above is a gif, not a program (i don't want to steal the code and also don't understand anything about javascript), so don't expect to see it hit the corner. it won't happen. i've learnt to accept it.
• COPYRIGHT: Wikipedia Commons says, about the copyright of the logo: "This logo image consists only of simple geometric shapes or text. It does not meet the threshold of originality needed for copyright protection, and is therefore in the public domain. Although it is free of copyright restrictions, this image may still be subject to other restrictions. See WP:PD#Fonts and typefaces or Template talk:PD-textlogo for more information. || Trademarked. This work includes material that may be protected as a trademark in some jurisdictions. If you want to use it, you have to ensure that you have the legal right to do so and that you do not infringe any trademark rights. See our general disclaimer. | This tag does not indicate the copyright status of the attached work. A normal copyright tag is still required. See Commons:Licensing."
• MY THOUGHTS: I like this guy. I used to watch DVDs with about six movies in them pirated by some rando that'd later sell it on the street, and looking at this screensaver was my favorite pasttime as a kid. The bouncing DVD logo and the built-in minesweeper game on every desktop device i've owned are the best thing ever.

That's about it. This is the Wikipedia page for DVDs, if you want to read about the object itself. You can also search up the page dedicated to screensavers.

it was saint valentine's day two days ago! i made a little card for the site (can be found through the main page). made it even though i don't celebrate it, and that i am not one for drawing hearts anymore, which is silly, really. i used to draw them on the knuckles of characters, or on other joints if they were showing at all, and in their eyes. it hasn't lost its appeal, i just never remember to draw them anymore.

there's also a navigation page on here now, above the CHATBOX. it should make it easier to go through the content of the blog, as i add more and more bits to it.

also, risking getting out of character, i have no fucking idea what happened on here, really. i saw a layout some time ago where the person superposed a bunch of images and marquee-tagged text to make a sort of collage of sorts as their html file, and i thought "hey, that'd make for a good News Station kind of page", you know? with the shifting text and such, and a fake news anchor. and here we are now, with fucking Site Lore about a guy and his coworker and whatnot. it's fun, it's just very silly to me that i somehow always circle back to making things into . whatever this is. an interactive story of sorts.

on that topic, i REALLY need to stop updating the site. it weighs twice as much as most static sites right now.

i've also gotten some compliments about this, and i think it's awesome that people find it enjoyable. i am having a blast.

and while we're here, i'll tell you to read Jorge Luis Borges' "The House Of Asterion" (lasts less than 4 pages of a printed book, will take you ten minutes, search it up, come on) and disfixdog's The Process Of Elimination. the last one is around 40-50k words per route (it's an hypertext game), and i got the ending most of the official discord server says is the least cool one, but WHATEVER. had a blast. will continue playing it later on.

i don't read as much as i used to when i was a teenager, so idk about making a reading reccs page on the site, but we'll see. if you have any reading reccs that take me either ten minutes or a full week (i will take no in-betweens), give them to me. can be on the chatbox or the neocities profile, and at any time (has it been two years since this blog entry? doesn't matter!). that's it! take care!

i've been thinking about the sea lately!

i've never been close to it or anything. i don't really like the beach either- the sand in between my toes and under my nails is a nightmare, and the sun isn't too kind to me. but there's something about the sea, y'know?

there's a video someone made about exoplanets, meant to be seen in VR, where you are placed in the middle of a mega-earth that's only water, and the massive waves carry you up and down. the sky is cloudy and you're alone, going up and down in a never ending sea.

and i like the thought of it. it's strange. i would fear the possibility of something breathing under the water, ever so close to touching my feet or swallowing me whole, but i think being thrown around there in a somewhat ridiculous floaty would fix half of my problems.

here's the video! click and drag around to explore the waves.

also, february 7th is my birthday! very cool. the birthday mindset is farther away than ever from "holy fuck i am Alive today" and hovering on "fuck yeah another year of drawing". it's great. this is going to be A Year.

there's this thing about my life experience this summer that's really fucking funny to me, and i thought i should write about it. why not.

around the last days of november i gained a Brand New Fixation: arthropods. i read quite a fair bit about them, from both oversimplified and accurate sources, and thought about silly many-legged guys On The Daily, which, as one might expect, led to me paying far more attention to them than usual. and they ALSO seemed to pay attention to me.

summer started out quite nicely! very cleanly. the bug burst was very sudden: one day, a queen bee just settled down on our goddamn garbage bin, in our backyard. my mom opened it and it bursted into a cloud of fuzzy dumb fucks (affectionate), and ever since then our home is full of them. there's one to four in every room, even in the bathroom, and they go crazy when the lights are on.

when december started, i encountered another foul beast: a full ten centimeters of black centipede running through the living room. i was Not able to kill it, partially because i decided to read about it on an encyclopedia instead (Billiken encyclopedia, tiny myriapods section). when my mom asked about it, i had to tell her it ran into her room, never to be seen again, for which she's not very eager to sleep there anymore.

Midway through december, in-between the bees epidemic, a fucking big ass Wasp decided to make A Nest Inside My Bathroom. On My Bathroom Door. she tried to do this for a full week; every time she left i would destroy the nest and put a bit of poison (sorry ma'am), and the next day she'd be there in the morning, back at it. i don't know where she is now, but i've been noticing so many small wasps flying next to my head when i go outside.. it is An Experience, for sure.

the arthropod encounters from there on have been more miscellaneous, exactly what to expect from the summer. ants have invaded the trail from the kitchen to the bathroom, cockroaches and crickets jump at me On Sight (why), and i just witnessed a spider jump into a pool of oil in the kitchen sink and stand there paralyzed once i took it out of there -and i KNOW she's alive, because otherwise the lack of blood pressure would've twisted her into a knot. i Know you're breathing and i would like you to go to your web and rid me of the numerous little bitches haunting me; that is if that centipede from december does not eat you. it says on wikipedia it eats spiders.

are you seeing this shit. i love her.

Niigata City Aquarium “Marine Pia Heart” - Baikal Seal, my beloved.

It seems that same Tumblr accounti got these pictures from is full of plushies like these. heheheheheheeheh it's SO COOL. here's more

(Nihon Auto Toy Isopod plush)

(Beams Japan (fat) pigeon)

Yesterday (though it is 3am, for me it's still "today") i made an orange flavored cake!! (no filling) Here's how to make it:

You'll need 3 egg whites and 3 egg yolks -separated from each other!!-, 200 grams of sugar, 200 grams of self-rising flour, half a cup of oil, and 3 oranges.

1st step: squeeze out the ORANGE JUICE!! have it aside, for later.

2nd step: whisk up the 3 EGG WHITES until they're a stiff mixture, maybe even a bit more after that. for Good Luck.

3rd step: in a separate bowl, whisk up the 3 YOLKS, add the SUGAR and continue whisking.

4th step: add the FLOUR to the EGG YOLK MIXTURE (don't get them mixed up, please), and mix with a spatula or spoon. add THE ORANGE JUICE. Add the OIL and mix.

5th step: add the EGG WHITES MIXTURE to the EGG YOLKS MIXTURE and mix making enveloping movements (don't whisk!! continue using the spoon/spatula).

27Jan2023 edit: Turn on the oven, let it warm up for fifteen minutes and then bake the cake for around thirty minutes. The result for me was a fluffy cake, not too tall due to the oil weighing it down (or so says my mom), but still very tasty. I am eating it while coding dumb shit onto this site. Don't forget to properly put the grease and flour layer on the mold, or whatever method works for you. i might've fucked it up the second time i made this.

The original recipe is in spanish, on this site.